I care, so I criticize...

Have you criticized people? Have you criticized your spouse, kid, peers or even boss? Were you comfortable doing that? What's their reaction?

I have criticized people many a times in the professional circles and official meetings. When other's reactions were not so receptive I have lamented myself why these people cannot be professionals and open minded, after all I am doing it for all the good reasons. But there were occasions when I was in the receiving end, and I had struggled to become the same 'professional and open minded' which I wanted all others to be :)

It's not simple, not simple at all- criticizing others and being criticized by others. So what's the way out?

Can we avoid criticizing and be nice and goody-goody to people? Can we see that we don't discuss contentious issues and pre-empt a possible confrontation?

If you want to do that or already doing that then you don't care others; you don't want others to improve and come up; you are selfish

Criticism is like a double edged sword. You MUST do it, You MUST face it. Real challenge is how are you going to do it? Shiv Khera gives a few tips for constructive criticism.

Are you specific while criticizing others? If no, then people may suspect your motive. There has to be a clear, constructive purpose

Are you doing it with care and compassion? Are you able to make eye-to-eye contact?

Are you telling others the benefit of correcting the issue? Are you showing the loss from not correcting?

Are you sarcastic? Then you don't care

Are you questioning the intent of others while criticizing? Then you don't trust

Does criticism give you pleasure? Are you bringing personal grudges while criticizing? Then you are sadistic  and you have no business criticizing others

Are you giving others the opportunity to explain?

Are you open minded enough to consider other's suggestions?

Are you cool and firm while criticizing? Obviously you have to be

Are you closing the conversation on a positive note?

Are you congratulating them when they realize their folly and ready to correct?

There must be some tips while on the receiving end too. (but this is by 'yours truly' :))

Are you open minded enough to face criticism?

Are you looking to who's doing that rather than what they are doing? Obviously you should not

Are you attributing motives to the person doing that? Then you don't want to improve

Are you unnerved or tensed while facing criticism? Then you lack confidence

Do you respond by targeting personalities rather than targeting ideas? You need to have the tenacity and courage

So do you care others and want to help them out? Criticize them constructively

Do you want to improve yourself? Face criticism with a open, positive frame of mind

Happy criticizing!! (of course, constructive)